


And You Leave.

by andsothebladewentsnickersnack



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: 6 months later and I continue it, F/M, Look everyone is sad and you the fuck are too, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other, Pining, The way I fucking like it, The writing is bad as always!, There's angst pining and no one's happy in the end, You have an X-Man name because I said so, might continue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-04-27 14:58:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14427966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andsothebladewentsnickersnack/pseuds/andsothebladewentsnickersnack
Summary: Angst. It's sad. Might cont.





	1. Chapter 1

"This mutant problem is-"  
"What mutant problem?" Logan interrupts Bobby's mom, and you place a hand on his arm, feeling his muscles flex beneath his skin.   
"Complicated." She finishes her sentence. A raw hot lick of fury runs through you.  
"How so?" You ask, taking a step forward, "If you love him shouldn't that be enough?" You ask, and his brother runs upstairs.   
So much for family.   
You turn, walking into the kitchen.   
Reminds you of your own family, however long ago that whole business was.   
You study the view out of the window, eyes just barely catching several black clad figures hustling by. You turn to see Logan walking into the room.   
"Logan we-"  
"We gotta go now." He says, and you nod, taking Rogue's arm. There's no warning when you walk out the door. Two police officers walk up and immediately your hands go up. Immediately you're shot.   
The kids yell but Logan only sighs, and that's the last thing you hear for a little while. 

You wake up on the plane next to a blue guy.   
"Guten morgen." He says, and you blink once at him.  
"Hallo. Wo bin ich?" You ask, and he shakes his head once.   
"Don't show off." A gruff voice sounds.  
You look around.  
"Oh. The jet. Of course." 

Later that night when you're creeping around the jet you watch Logan make a move on Jean and your heart fucking burns in your chest.   
"Tough break." You say, dropping down from the jet.  
"Fuck off, ______." He says, and you smile and nod, easily climbing back up into the broken jet, swinging your legs easily off of it. He doesn't have to hurt you but he does, sending out a comment that he knows will bother you, whether or not you show it. "I don't have to follow her around like a lost dog after she rejects me. And I won't let her die."   
You laugh once, spite leaving little room for hurt. Sucks to have someone knowing all of your secrets, to have lived with you long enough to know how to hurt you, and you could talk back, break his heart again, but there's enough hurt going around and you'd rather him feel bad tomorrow than you.   
But you know that you both will.   
You loved someone, once. The fucking kicker is that he didn't even die of old age, it was a robbery. A fucking robbery- you weren't home. You could have saved him.  
Tomorrow comes too quickly and having to stand next to him in the jet while he tries not to apologize is killing you. You don't protest when he tries to run off on his suicide mission but you also don't protest when they send Mystique instead.   
When the two of you sit back down and wait, he looks at you. Into you.   
"I'm…"  
"I know." You say, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving him a small sad smile, "I am too."  
The two of you sit in a comfortable uncomfortable silence until Raven chimes in over the radio.   
"Let's roll."   
Storm provides the fireworks. You provide a stinging commentary from the jet.   
You can't help without killing. 

Of course when Pyro goes in, you as the responsible adult, go with. You're nothing if not super excited to get back into the field. 

You smell death and gunpowder and it sends a shock through your system. Of course you're about halfway there before Johnny collapses in pain. It doesn't hurt you as badly, and you make it to the compound just as it goes away, breathing in deeply. You can feel your blood behind to boil and freeze as everything, all of the death and destruction, all of the energy flows into you.   
Alarms go off and you groan, heading back to the jet. They're gonna need someone to save their asses and the kids in there could do it but you could too and you're not gonna let them show you up. You run as fast as you can back to the jet, hoping to hell that Pyro is there. He's not.   
"You kids ok?" You ask, and your voice crackles with an energy you haven't felt since your last service. They seem to notice.  
"Are… you ok?" Rogue asks slowly, and you nod, a grin on your face, energy surging in your bones, in your teeth.   
You help them fly the jet into the air, keeping an eye on the ground below. 

You're still chock full of power you haven't felt in years and you're splitting at the seams. 

You _feel_ the dam break. Jean does too. You look at her, then reach a hand out to touch her face.   
"You can do shit I can't. Hold onto something, sweet heart." You say, and then you push all of your power into her, "it should keep you alive, but let me come with you-" you start to say, but she shakes her head, and suddenly you're asleep. 

You wake up to Scott's inarticulate crying and you take a deep breath.   
You choke on the unimaginable power that fills you, and Logan drops Scott, whirling on you.   
"You could have-"   
"I tried, she-"   
"You're a fucking joke! All you do is let the people around you die, you're not a hero! You're an annoying dog, who doesn't understand when you're not wanted!"  
You feel tears leaving your eyes, but you're shocked numb, sucking in another breath, the residual power flowing into you easily.   
You steel yourself.   
"Get a hold of yourself, Logan." You say, voice cold as ice, vibrating through the bones of every person on the ship. The craft rocks in the air, and Logan takes a step back, sitting down in his seat. The children looked at you with shock and awe. Charles' eyes were wide and you shake your head once.  
"Is anyone hurt?" You ask voice still burning through the air, the craft shuddering once more, but you know that no one is, you can feel the healthiness of the people around you.  
You bite your lip, and then you're sure no one is watching you snap the fingers on your hand backwards all the way, not making a single sound at the pain, letting some of the energy flow into your regeneration system. You turn your head to see Logan staring you down. He looks a mix between sorry and sad. 

Back at the mansion he apologizes as you're packing your bags.   
"I'm sorry, look, don't leave-"   
"Shut the fuck up, Logan-"   
He wraps his arms around you in a crushing grip and you dig your nails into his arm, sucking some of his strength out of him. A warning shot. He lets go.  
"I'm all done being a lost dog, Logan. And I'm done being your-"   
"You're the only person I know I have left."   
"And every fucking day you make me feel like shit, so let's give that a rest. Bye," you say, kissing him once on the cheek, your voice softer now, "I'll be back, maybe." 

And then you leave.


	2. Aeternum Recurrit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoops. Got drunk ish and wrote more. It's not good but it's more, and you get your hero name revealed! Theres no consistent character traits except alcoholism.

How did you even meet Logan? 

A bar. Tavern, you'd suppose. Bar tavern. Both. Either. It's all semantics anyways and you got tired of that shit after a hundred years or so of living with your mutation, before you even met Logan. 

You met him in a bar. It was a new bar. New town. You moved around from time to time. To do with your mutation. You suppose that's the more relevant question if you're trying to figure out when and why and where you met Logan. As if you don't think about it any time you smell the smoke of a cigar or taste the rusted energy of a death by cold hard metal.   
Your mutation. Right. You don't know what you would call it- doesn't have a good name like telepathy or telekinesis. Or super icey powers. Ok. You're off topic. And, you muse, looking down at the half empty bottle of Tequila on the motel desk, you're a little drunk.   
But your mutation. You are currently about 250 years old. You're an old mother fucker. Haha. That's part of it, you suppose. Must be part of the whole - well. You'll get into it.   
Every single person on this planet has a limited amount of energy that keeps them alive. When they die, that energy is ejected into space to become something else- a buried body might send it's energy into the plants around it. Sort of like reincarnation. Well, your ability allows you to take in that energy and repurpose it. Healing yourself, giving it to other people to bolster their powers or healing, using it to enhance your strength, or using it as pure energy. If you're hopped up enough on energy you can just take it from people. Kill them. It's painful, excruciating.   
You figure the reason that you're living so long is because millions of people die every day and you get enough of that energy to keep your body at a slick 22 years of age.   
Which is of course, why you meet Logan. You meet him initially during the American civil war (in a bar). (He and his brother are Canadian, you're not sure why they were there. Then again, you were from some European town. Not that anyone would be able to guess.) Either way you saw them take bullets. They saw you take bullets. You saw each other walk away from them. You follow them to the tavern they go to, and you all meet each other. Easy. Mutant solidarity.   
War kept you powerful. People dying by the hundreds, you sucked the energy up like a sangria and used it to crush the enemy soldiers.   
You stuck to them for the duration of the war, then went your own way. You didn't meet up with them again until Riker was forming up his team. Maybe your legend preceeded you, or maybe Sabretooth and his brother gave you up, but either way you got a pretty good deal.

The bar you're sitting in smells of beer and men and sweat and you hate it. You hate the stupid whiskey you sip, and you hate the fact that you're letting yourself get drunk in this shithole bar.   
"Look what the cat dragged in."   
"Well I'll be fucked. Sabretooth, wasn't it?" You're not guessing, but being polite. Hedging your bets.   
"And my brother." Sabretooth takes a seat on one side of you, and his brother takes the other. Wolverine. If you didn't know better you'd think they were trying to fuck you, but you knew better.  
"You sure do look a lot prettier than the last time we saw you."   
You shrug.   
"Don't need to have a dick to fight anymore."   
"So you're still fighting. We have an offer for you."   
Maybe you didn't know better.   
"My name is William Riker." 

You learn a few years later that no, you didn't know better. Not the sex thing, though they did end up fucking you over in the end. Not the brothers specifically, (you find that's a pattern, that Logan specifically doesn't fuck you but you always end up getting fucked over when he's around.) Sabretooth is less of a boy scout, and you also find that getting fucked by him is a great stress reliever. Logan _hates_ it, you think, which delights you because you definitely have a bit of a flame for him. Not that any of this matters because after Logan splits off you do too, and you meet someone that you absolutely fall in love with. He's a Russian immigrant with a penchant for romantic gestures. He's a mutant. You love him with your whole heart and you don't think you're gonna find anyone better for you. 

You're happy for a beautiful four years until Logan shows up on your doorstep looking for help. Of course you help him.

Four days later your apartment is robbed and your husband is killed. You were a block away getting groceries. You could have easily stopped it. 

You find Logan and travel with him until he meets his future wife. You run away. 

You don't see Logan again until Xavier is collecting mutants. Having nothing to do, you go with him. 

Then the whole Riker thing happened. And now you're sitting in a dingy motel drinking stupid tequila and trying to keep yourself from crawling back to the man who knows everything about you and apparently wants you to suffer for it. You've deleted numerous voice messages that you honestly didn't even bother to listen to. The words still stung and you don't think that more words are the best thing for you.   
You take another shot of tequila and pick up your phone (speaking of voicemail). You must be drunk enough to not have noticed getting a call, because a new notification is there, waiting for you to delete.   
"Not today, Logan. God I'm too drunk for this- shit." Your finger slips. 

"Hey, _____. I… I wanted to apologize. Again. I don't even know if you're listening to this. I hope you are. Anyways. The point of calling. I … wanted to ask you to go back to the mansion. Not for me! I'm sure that ship has sailed, and I understand you need your space. I needed it once too. But the kids are asking about you a lot. And I think they need you and I... I think you need them. But who knows. I'm sure you're getting drunk off some shitty tequila or scotch. I am."   
You're tempted to shut it off, but the silence following gives you pause.   
"Come back. For the kids. And… I miss you." He's drunk and he doesn't mean it but your heart is warmed anyways. 

"Come back, Aeternum."   
It might be time for you to go back.


End file.
